United?...States

Obama won. Romney lost. Gary Johnson got 1% of the vote and not the 5% he needed. Apparently some people see this as a sore loss and a magnificent win. I see it as another step in the same direction... right off a cliff. With the hype still bellowing out of their ears in the form of vaporized steaming piles of bullshit taking solidity in posts of angry, bitter, and racially discriminating tinted on facebook, republicans are sincerely expressing their disappointment with the elections passing. The democrats are blindly basking in their pseudo-winning and myself and others like me? We are just laughing at the both of them while meagerly  agreeing that our nation is in shambles and the pieces are too scattered to be put back together by the duopoly that is repubs and dems who continue to draw a black and white line between one another and our entire nation.

While I feel a certain ease on tension now that I know another filthy rich fat cat lunatic republican will not be in office. I find it disheartening that most people ( at least in my deeply southern rooted society ) think our president is a muslim and is feeding the welfare bums directly with his greedy stingy "racist against the white man" hands... I also find it disheartening that most of them don't have a clue otherwise on things political other than what they are spoon-fed from their misinformed companions (again mostly from my neck of the "woods"). This election has proved to me through empirical visual and first-hand accounts that our "United States" is no such thing. 

We are a nation still divided by racism and petty ignorance that should have been addressed, through education, during the civil rights establishment, especially in the southern states. That way the kids then would have been well aware of how equal we as humans should have been. But alas, we did no such thing and the persistence of ignorance shown through and still does. It troubles me to no end how we can imagine such a great place and call it "United" when in all reality it's really not. That much is obvious now post-presidential election. There are many other issues surrounding this divide besides the racism issue. Yet this is the most predominant issue in my current region of the "United States". 

What's on your mind?: The Facebook Delusion

The days of old. You know way back when it was 1986 or so? I know it's been forever ago and that technology has advanced beyond what we thought imaginable from that time. I should know I was like two years old. Who would have thought that I would be able to let everyone in my social circle know exactly what I was up to every minute of the day if i wanted to? Simply by reaching in my pocket and typing it out on a phone that fits into the palm of my hand. I could sit here and awe at everything that has changed since '86 but that just doesn't seem very fun. I'd much rather talk about how much of a pain in the ass Facebook has made society in general.

"HOW BOUT THEM *insert favorite college or professional football team here* " This is all I get for damn near half a year, that or constant updates on saturday, sunday, and monday nights about yardage, scores, penalties, and various other bullshit that floats around my "friends" status messages. Not only does it show the "true" fans of the sport, but it also shows the ones who damn near beat their wives because of how angry they get because their favorite football team lost or is currently loosing. I realized a few years back that the sport of football and the fanaticism that comes along with it is just too much for me. I have a short temper as it is and football, especially college football rivalries brought out the worst in me. So, being progressive minded and looking to improve myself and not continue down a path that could lead me to anger management classes, I stopped viewing and keeping tabs on football altogether. I consider myself a much better person for it too. Much better than your average person who would read this and say something along the lines of " that guy was just a pussy. " , well my fanatical reading friend, fuck you.

Amongst other things that grace the status updates are the constant complaints about someones drama, they won't say what exactly is bugging the fuck out of them in the manner that they have to constantly update about it, usually in all caps and with an explicative or two. Including but not always limited to "faggot ass cunt bitch". My personal thoughts on said "faggot ass cunt bitch" is that maybe you as a person should grow a pair. Then confront said "faggot ass cunt bitch", and cold cock them in the face while screaming something about murdering their family. I'm sure they will leave you alone for a while after that. Especially if you pick up a blunt heavy object after that and wave it around your head like a mad man or woman. Get a grip on your life and stop wasting internet space and time and my retinal lifespan complaining about something that you, yourself should take into your own hands. It's ok to grow up and face your problems head on sometimes.

"I have to put the kids down for a nap and go look in the fridge". Really? Do you? Are you sure? I don't know how many times I have seen this kind of status or something similar come up on my updates. It's like these people want to write down every event that happens to them during the day no matter what the fuck it is. It doesn't matter that it's the most trivial shit that doesn't challenge or increase my intelligence at all, it just is some random shit that they HAVE to update or else. Or else the fucking world will come crashing down on top of them and baby jesus in the manger will return. Goddamn.... these updates are the bane of my facebook existence, these and the " I'm praying that tonight goes well and i find a great parking spot at the church " ( but i'll get into the religious debacle next... i always do.. *chuckle*) It's like these people have absolutely nothing interesting or genuinely intelligent to say. They just go day to day updating how many times they went to the fridge for food or how many times they changed a baby diaper. It literally drives me into a deletion frenzy. I can't see why anyone would put up such stupid shit....

Picking up on where I left off on stupid shit. Is the ever present " i'm going to pray for *insert any and everything here* ". These people literally talk to God on facebook. Like he has an account and get's back to them from time to time when he's not busy watching people rape each other and commit genocide in burma and stuff like that, or allowing an islamic terrorist to kill 35 or so people in Moscow. But God is great and all and loves his children. Praying to god on facebook, or whatever you pray to, isn't going to make you look like a better person. Actually getting involved and helping people out might be a start. I just witnessed some one post up " Life, your kids, your marriage DID come with instructions - The bible ". This disturbs me because I thought those instructions on how to be a good person came from the parents and a natural sense of morality that is hardwired into us as a child. Not from some book written by a culture of almost primitive people in the middle east. I digress.. as this is a touchy subject. It will be a great day when mankind won't need a mythological guidebook to teach them to be good, moral people and instead just be the naturally good people that we already were as children.

When it all boils down to it, every one of the things I have written about here are deletable offenses. I have given get out of deletion free cards to family members and good friends because I know they can't help themselves and I talk to them about different things from time to time. But to the random person who I rarely see in town and don't really care to speak to. You have to go. I don't need you wasting my time and raising my blood pressure, which is already high thanks to my great genetics ( thanks dad ). Also, if I see you in passing in town oh drama queens and kings of facebook, don't expect me to look your way or talk to you for any period of time that requires me having to listen to your ramblings in person as well. I don't want it on my facebook persona nor my actual public persona as well. So. In closing, don't be a "faggot ass cunt bitch".

Get out of Georgia Vele!

Buzz..... Buzz....... Buzz... Buzz... Buzz.... This is the sound I heard a few months back, as I was laying in bed at about 2:30 in the afternoon. I shake the sleep from my eyes long enough to focus on my phone on the nightstand beside me. It's not easy being unemployed in Georgia with nothing else to do but sleep your time away, but damn am I good at it. I answered the phone, recognizing the contact " Jason "Jerome" Cronenwett ". I answer the phone knowing exactly what is coming next. "GET OUTTA BED VELE!" My best friend shouts at me, in his scruffy San Diegon accent. So I feel the California sunshine through his words and get out of bed. Or at least that's what I tell him. No, I stay my ass right there and pretend to make the grunts and such of getting out of bed after a long day of sleeping in, as always.

I've become accustomed to sleeping in excess of 14 hours a day. I usually ( by usually I mean only sometimes ) wake up long enough to see Jenniy out the door and to work. Back before I had to change my sleeping habits ( to keep her 4 year old once money got tight ) I would settle back into bed and sleep the majority of the day away happily. This is how I became fat, well not exactly fat, just well.... I'm not going to church it up, I'm getting fucking fat. Needless to say I keep in touch with a few of my good Navy friends through social networking ( facebook ). So Mr. Jerome caught wind of my excessive sleepy time. Hence, "Get out of bed Vele!" ringing in my ear randomly throughout the week. He insisted that he cared enough to call and tell me this because he couldn't stand to see is good friend "go down" like this. He has a good point.

I have to this day been unemployed for the better part of a year now going on 8 or so months. Day's seem to run together at times and getting anything done once you've become a lazy, 8 month unemployed pillow monster are slim to none. I've begun keeping my girlfriend's four year old for a few months now and, while it has me get up and going at times. I mostly nap while he is entertained by Spongebob. I've come to the make it or break it point in my unemployment status, and it's time for me to buckle down and get motivated. Yet, after the better part of 8 months being a complete paragon for the way Jeffery Lebowski lives his life I find myself procrastinating the inevitable. Jenniy has went so far as to tell me I can't be content living out the life of the "Dude". I know she's right, and I know I have to face reality and get my life rolling again. Setting goals, management, financial portfolio's, insurance, computers, black leather gloves, you know the whole Prestige Worldwide thing. The first name in entertainment. Or just plain old gettin' shit done.

I plan on doing the college thing in the spring not just for the money but the chance to help myself be a better person. I see my life on the decline and it hurts me to know that I could have been so much better. Some people say they have no regrets, and that they wouldn't change a thing about their life. Well those people are ignorant, prick, ass-wipes who probably had everything handed out to them on a silver platter. I'd change a thousand things if I had the chance to restart knowing what I know now. Hell, even if I had the chance to start back just a few months ago. I would have gotten my ass out of bed, Vele. I know I can't go back and I won't dwell on it but I do regret that I haven't asserted myself better in life. I guess better late than never eh?

Buzz... Buzz... Buzz.... Buzz.... Buzz... The fucking phone vibrates again off the now black painted wood of the nightstand. I pick it up, and get a resounding " GET OUTTA GEORGIA, VELE!". Jason now insists that a lot of my problems would and could be solved with a change in location, location, location. I agree with him on that regard. I should relocate and refresh my financial status with getting a job or two and working my ass off until I'm back in the saddle and everything is going great. I could do that, IF, my financial status didn't include the worst credit score ever. Just as well, there are things here that have to be taken care of before I relocate myself elsewhere. Jenniy doesn't necessarily need my help at all. I choose to be here to help because I want to. I also don't necessarily need to be here beside her either. She's a strong and independent single mom who I know is bound for success. Doesn't mean we don't care or love one another or will discontinue all sexual, intellectual, and vinyl benefits ( you read it right, vinyl, not vital even though those are pretty vital to us ). We just don't have to have one another to keep moving forward with our incredibly tough lives, yet we choose to do this together so far. I have a huge challenging road or path or what have you ahead of me. I'll have a hard road, with or without, Jenniy's or anyone else's help for that matter. Though it may be a long & hard road, there is still a road there for me to take. Even though in southwest Georgia it's more likely to be a rock laden red clay dirt road that gets muddy and just as slippery as ice within a few minutes time of rainfall.

With all that said, and out in the open for everyone to enjoy at their own leisure. I'd like to say this. Give me all your money, in the bag, right fucking now!... Wait.. this isn't intimidating is it? Fuck. On a more serious note, I guess it's time I finally wake up and wipe the 8 months of sleep out of my eyes and drop the pseudo reality that comes with 8 months of doing absolutely nothing at all. This is going to suck... but it's time to take that first step. After all, the dude abides...

NOFX - The Obsession and Why I Have No Life.

It has been many, many years since I first picked up ( stolen actually from a kid at school ) the album "Pump Up The Valuum" by NOFX. I have owned and lost a total of more than 6 or 7 albums since then. Here recently I have began an endeavor to collect albums by NOFX. Not just one or two here and there, but as many as financially possible. I even on this very day of thinking up this post, have purchased a 7" vinyl album titled "Timmy The Turtle". Two songs, 30 something bucks, and a huge smile across my face ( an even bigger one once the dealer reply's back to my order currently pending ).

Allow me to hit the rewind button and back-track to the first time I slid "Pump Up The Valuum" into my 5 disc mega-huge cd changer stereo that was also a entertainment center shelf that neatly held my Nintendo 64 aloft. Just as well this isn't a review of NOFX at all.. this is a review of my life as I am currently dealing with my NOFX obsession ( i'm not really dealing with it i'm actually promoting it at the cost of minor abrasions to my already constantly complicated relationship status ). Let's just say the whole album had me begging for more, especially after lucky track number 7. "Louise". "She had to walk with a silicon cock stickin' in her ass and one in her cunt.". This track's opening line showed me how much better music could be than just listening to my dad's old AC/DC and Eagles tape cassettes. I told my mom I needed money later that week for school, when I really needed it to pick up the next album in my collection that I do not own anymore. "Punk In Drublic ". This only furthered my desire to own more of the music I have such fondness for.

I was learning new curse words from these guy's that even the redneck influenced hick kids around the slum town of Bainbridge, GA could even think up. I was always socially awkward and kept more to myself. You'd never catch me in any kind of after school activities, not only because we couldn't afford them, but because I didn't want to be around other kids that were complete cock-fuckers and in south Georgia there are and were plenty to be found. I stayed to myself until high school where I pretty much had no choice but to mingle with some group of kids. By this time I had been introduced to the internet and found out about many other bands, mostly metal and punk bands. I also gained more self-confidence through my small group of friends towards the end of high school by fighting and sparring with them in the middle of the gym like a handful of retards. With punk and metal rifts and lyrics rolling through my head I fought and played hard with these guys. Smashing up abandoned buildings and lighting shit on fire after school. Doing normal stuff to us. At the end of my time in high school, I lost both albums by NOFX but downloaded them on my parents computer. So even though I lost the original copies I had, I kept burning them, and a few others I'd found on the net onto replaceable blank CD's.

My next track through the twisted memories and experiences brings me to joining the Navy. Accelerating my life. That's all bullshit.. it's more of a complete and utter kick in the pants to jump-start your life by dragging you through shit, in my case literally. I ended up taking a break from the metal and punk music and dove into what I thought was something that I had roots in. I was wrong there though. I ended up listening to country music. The full monty. My relatives who lived just three hours away where I planned my weekend escape, and just as well were my friend Colby Johnson planned his escape as well, ended up turning me into something ( a hickarican ) that I would end up having to explain and gain the understanding of people around me later, when I decided to drop the pseudo redneckish bullshit profile I was starting to adapt to to suit the people around me and not myself. Drinking the bud-light and listening to country music was very awkward to me inside but pleasing to others around me. I figured this out later in my Navy career and started my transition back into my punk roots after a good friend of mine taught me more about punk than I could ever think possible ( not really, we just got wasted and listened to any and everything on our shitty old ipods ).

Since I've been out ( of the Navy ) I've owned and lost a few albums by my favorite band. It's not because I don't try to take care of my stuff, it's just that I got too drunk and probably kicked them out of my or someone else's vehicle floorboard, or kicked underneath the seat and never found. I eventually changed my music preference to suit a few women, and stopped buying albums by NOFX altogether. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. Getting onto the deep obsession I have with owning NOFX vinyl.. I can't spend an unemployed day without wanting to look at all the vinyl I don't own that NOFX has pressed. It is damn near impossible to think about all that wonderful colored array of vinyl without wanting to immediately head to fatwreck.com and day dream about having a full on double complete collection of NOFX rarities. I've been told I would stalk fat mike and the NOFX crew if I moved to California. This may be true, but I don't believe I'd be too creepy about it. It's not like I have a NOFX dildo or anything... for fucks sake, that would just be weird. Moving into my recent purchases concerning this obsession, I currently have about 8 albums on vinyl and have more on the way.

When "The Longest EP" was advertised by fatwreck.com as releasing on August 17th ( my birthday ). I knew I had to have this album. It wasn't the best decision to make seeing as I was already overdrawn by 16 bucks in my banks account. Yet, I did not hesitate to click "confirm order ". It turned out in my eyes , to be a great investment. I have checked e-bay and the color combination that I have, pink and gold, ( fuck you pink is cool.... goddamnit ) is the highest valued. It sells for a whopping 65 or more dollars, easy. With that being said, I don't plan on putting my rarity up for auction at all. It looks much better in person, and as soon as I get a turn-table i'll play it as well. With all this being said, one could say that I have a definite obsession with NOFX and owning the vinyl albums they have put out. Some may call me nerdish, retarded, or even gay for obsessing so much over some loser punk band that sucks. I have no rebuttal to that. I'll just own more shitty vinyl than you.

P.S. - Fuck you arseholes.

Religion - Education vs Pre-Destination

I can't begin to explain how much oppression I deal with being from southern georgia and stuck in the mud tires spinning, and can't get out. I don't belong here, but I don't deserve to be hated during my time here either. So within these next few or many paragraphs I type here i'll explain my take on why religion is unnecessarily bad, as well as on how being a "faithful" person can mean hate towards others who consider being without faith a luxury. This post is mainly focused on christianity, because it's one religion directly affecting my lifestyle, yet religion in general is the bigger picture. So with all that being said hope someone learns something out of this.

Being that I now have a lot of time to myself here, and without much to do I find myself bitter at people and how they choose to live their lives. Yes, big time no, no there right? I shouldn't be concerned with how someone else chooses to live and what they believe in at all. I have no business with what they do, and should never worry myself on trying to change each and every one of them. What I am getting at here is this. If I can change one stray mind into not being a total ignorant and irrational ass when I walk by them in town or where have you. To get them to put aside the menacing and demeaning looks would make my life that much better, and to have that happen on a larger scale, well that would be wonderful. Just as well, if A supposed moderately timid religious person were to read these following words and decide, hey maybe this lifestyle ( of any faith ) isn't for me. I'd be happy knowing I might have helped someone live that much happier. It's up to the person to make the choice, i'm not here to convert anyone, i'm just here to make known what I have learned through years of trial and error with finding out what is right for me. I am definately not the smartest person with all the answers to everything about this subject, so i'll do the best I can to cover as much as possible.

There is no kind of certainty in my words here, though I think it's highly unlikely I'll get wings after I die, or that there is a giant man in the sky looking over everyone I don't know for sure, yet who honestly does? I believe doubt is the best policy a person can have. Because doubting something isn't placing a strong belief in it, it isn't ridiculing someone else over something that may or may not be. I'm non-religious for a reason, I doubt everything around me all the time. Simply because nothing in life is certain except for death. In any instant anything happening around you can change. To say "i know exactly what i'm going to do when i die." Is like saying, "I know exactly what is going to happen to this person across the country tomorrow". It's impossible, and reading a book like any other book written by man doesn't mean it's factual. Steven King is a man, and I take it anyone reading this wouldn't believe everything steven king writes, correct? No, I didn't think so. If anyone is uneducated about the people who wrote the bible, they were all men. Born in the Bronze age at a time long before modern science. For reference, the people of the bronze age believed the earth was flat. I highly doubt there were any highly prestigious writing and research schools back then. So how in the world could someone believe what was written 2,000 or so years ago, re-written by many, many others and think it was the absolute truth? The majority of them say it's all about "faith".

Why is faith, believing something without evidence, good? Would you want to be sent to jail for the rest of your life without any evidence of you doing anything intentionally cruel and horrid? Then I ask why should I be in someone's eyes damned to hell for the lifestyle of non-religious belief? What good can come out of someone who is stead-fast and devout in their religious faith? Many people would argue, that having faith and being a good religious person or in the case more often in georgia a good chrisitan person. Is better than being a sinning, tattooed, and hell-bound outlaw. I don't hate anyone for what they believe, I don't agree with them, but generally I try to be respectful. Yet I find myself time and time again wasting my breath for these people. I get shunned, sneered, hated ( yes hated ), and basically treated like a sewer-rat because of my non-belief. These people stare with hate and resentment towards me in their eyes everyday I walk out of the house with a smile on my face and spikes in my hair. I don't greet them like a scoundrel. Yet they can't help it, all they see is "sin". Because of their blind belief in a book that tell's them a certain way of life to live. They can't stand anything different. You know where I saw the same hate in peoples eyes? The U.A.E. ( United Arab Emirates ), yes it's much more tolerable than say Baghdad, but people there still hate for the same reason, the things they read in a 2,000 or so year old book.

People from the south in general, would definately argue their case here. Saying something along the lines of 9/11 and how they are savage people who get what they deserve. I say what makes them so different than us? The ability to carry out suicide or terrorist missions because they believe what they read in a book? I'm not condoning their actions at all. Yet they are very devout and faithful to their religion. Let's get in a history lesson here, but before we do let's go to current events. How many christian groups are there out there who would gladly bomb an abortion clinic full of innocent people? Plenty. Back to the historical mumbo-jumbo. Christians have been killing in the name of their lord for many years. Let's run back to the crusades shall we? A multitude of harsh and diabolical military campaigns to take back the holy land from the muslims, as well as other christians. Let's not forget the salem witch trials, over 200 people were put on trial and 20 were executed. These vicious acts were committed well after the bible was written and in the name of God. These religious belief's still carry hate and discontent for other's to this very day. How many people go on a murderous rampage because they heard the voice of "God" tell them to do so? What makes them insane and not just like someone hearing the voice of God telling them anything else? According to scripture you should be willing to sacrifice your children if God called for it ( a few people have, madness all of it ). Hearing the voice of so called God, is a mental disorder. Hearing voices inside your head telling you to do stuff, and talking back to it is psychopathy at it's finest.

Onto other fine topics, I get to discuss. Sex. Who doesn't enjoy it? Yet the only ( and i don't think this is actually written in the bible ) viable position for sex in the christian belief is missionary. Now honestly, who sticks to that one? Don't get me wrong here, it's not a bad position. But having to wait until your married, and then do it over and over again with the same person, I mean really... have you seen divorce numbers lately? Sex should be un-tamed and erotic, not fermented and flailing. Which brings me to doing it in the naughty place. Me personally, no. I have seen ( bring on the fucked up gay jokes haha ) enough assholes in the Navy and out here in Georgia, to never venture into one. It's just not my cup-o-tea. But for many, it is a part of their sexual orientation and it's also considered a sin, something to be forgiven in the christian belief. Now if it were me probing the anal cavity of my significant other or have you someone else's significant other. I wouldn't want to have to worry about forgiveness for something that is relatively harmless and is, i've heard, a good form of birth control. Yet again there is the problem birth control is out too... damn. But who's safe when you believe in virgin birth? Another part left out of the original scripture... hmm this sounds dicey. Sounds almost like someone is making things up as they go along to me. Let's just say that's a pretty big thing to leave out when your talking about all these divine things.

Leaving the sex subject and treading over the virgin birth leads me to my next point. Evidence of christ's existence. It's just not there. Many, many would argue that the bible stands as evidence of christ being real. Yet I beg to differ. The eyewitness accounts of christ's words were passed between decades of people. And as said before, i'm pretty sure steven kings characters aren't real people. These people don't believe in Santa ( nor do i ), who can supposedly make it around the world to each house in one night delivering presents. Yet they choose to believe that there is a celestial being in the heaven's above who can hear and speak back to them all at once. It just doesn't sit right with me and how common sense is supposed to work. These aren't dumb people mind you, many of them smarter than myself, alot smarter in some aspects. Yet they knowingly choose to believe in a man living in a giant fish for three days, talking snakes, a man who lived to be hundreds of years old, and of course the virgin birth. Where is the logical and rational thought in that?

Getting onto the rationality of things. The majority of American's think it's just fine and dandy that we are blowing up the sacred grounds of Muslims, just as they thought it was the right thing to do with us. This is a religious war an endless and irrational campaign that is spawned by hate,religious belief, and cultural diversity. When you get down to it, on those streets fighting, that muslim radicalist is shooting at you for the same reason your shooting at him hate. Hate for one another's belief and the actions taken for those belief's. How many more human beings have to die for this? For their religion, their god, their country? Radical and non-radical religious people are tearing this world apart, filling it with hate and discontent for anything other than their own philosophies. It has to stop before the human race destroy's itself with the weapons we created to end the world before we figured out world peace. We all bleed red. I don't wish harm on anyone. I just wish the madness and irrationality of religion was dead. I have alot to say on this and I probably left alot of things but the main focus points are there.

Again I want to say I don't believe for a reason. I question everything around me including my government ( a whole different post there haha. ). I also know that some won't care what i've said here the principal's and way of life is too deep rooted for them to turn on what they have grown up with or in some cases, sadly, they have been forced into. I love life and I believe in free-will. Everyone has a choice to make once they get older and get smarter on how they want to live and what they want out of life. On the majority of things I know what I want. I still have some digging to do in some area's, but that comes with a bit more time. Back on topic, the choice is one's own to make, NOT the parents, NO one should be forced into a lifestyle that may or may not suit them. They also shouldn't be shunned by others no matter what they choose to believe. Yet this always falls upon deaf ears, nothing changes the masses. Parents want to give their children the same views they see as right. When they should give them the choice, and not through an ultimatum. A parent should love and understand that it's the child's right to grow and think for itself. This doesn't mean you shouldn't teach moral's and educate them on being good people without the brainwashing techniques they use on children from a young age to push their faith. You can teach good things to your child without the bible. I'm sure before the bible was written people knew it was wrong to kill each other. Hell my 4 year old best friend know's that killing anything is wrong, just as well lying, stealing, and not behaving. He know's all this without the help of Jesus.

My ending statements are to people who do think and rationalize their surroundings. It's time to come out and stop being timid about who you are, be you. Not what a book or what television tell's you to be. Just have fun, we only get a short amount of time here, make the most of it. Let the religious follow, while we lead. Plenty of people all over the world have doubt's. It's better just not to be certain and live happily than to try and double down and cover your own ass if it's true. That's not a good reason to be religious. No one can tell or show you any truth you can't find yourself. Praying about something is only as good as hoping something were so. I realize there are many followers of religion that are happy and just fine with what they are. Yet they don't realize that the faithful and devout masses are letting their supposedly peaceful belief's turn us against each other. We are only as smart as we let ourselves become. Exercise and educate your mind and don't slump into the mass delusion of pre-destination.

What I think, I think.

So, sitting here with nothing at all to do, because of my current unemployed status, gives me plenty of time to think on things that are, well, thoughtful. I debate with myself constantly about different things all the time. Fighting an endless mind debacle that continues even now as I write this post. First off I have to point out the weak spots of my own critical thinking skills. First, I am very, very limited in my attention span. Second, I am pretty slow on brain registry on things said to me in person. I have to slow down and think about what was just said and then respond. Usually my initial response to these things I have to put thought into is a automated, "huh".

As I get older I realize that my brain has become more accepting of information. My ability to retain the information thrown at me is much greater than when I was in high school. This is what gives me the drive to put my brain back into school on the navy's expense. I guess the drive to learn and better myself has finally become self-aware. It's been there, yet, it has been dormant. I know now that I truly want better. Better housing, financial stability ( no more paycheck to paycheck shit ), location ( the "simple" life only carries you so far ), and overall a better Me. I have someone who I care about bettering myself for as well, no, two people. I have failed (or just gotten a bad luck streak) at just about everything I've gotten myself into so far in life. I joined the navy right out of high school, didn't get the exact career I wanted out of it, yet found something better some of the best friends anyone could ask for.

I didn't set any goals while I was in though, I just penciled in random answers on every advancement test and got out at the end of my enlistment. I got a shitty job working for Ironwood Construction, yet again top of the food chain stuff huh? There too, I did absolutely nothing to further myself. I collapsed a lung and got laid off from that job. I lost a car ( 2004 Pontiac GTO ) and dated a notorious whore of a girlfriend named, no mercy here, Kory Hall/Faircloth. I assumed my prestigious job at Directv, as a cable running, trench digging, RG-6 maniac ( my drive lasted all of 6 months or so ) until I tore my ACL "on the job". After returning to work after 7 month's of rehabilitation from a complete ACL reconstruction. I found myself lacking in the physical stamina department. Got laid off several month's later for being a good person ( basically ). I've been unemployed since Dec 14th of last year. Around the same time I lost another girlfriend, and ended up doing a little arm carving for attention ( very dumb move there, it doesn't help and it hurts, it's also very, very messy. Basically don't try it ). Went to therapy for my depression and anger management and came out on top of everything, feeling like i'm a brand new person. Mainly because of a certain refreshing personality who I spend the majority of my time with while i'm doing alot of nothing. Jenniy. I can't thank her enough for being so kind and loving ( and having so much patience, haha ).

I've enjoyed this vacation from the normal. Especially, when directv has to pay for my unemployment. That just made this all the better. Now, seeing all this your probably thinking, damn this guy got a raw deal. Yes, yes i did. I've got a hell of a lot to think about these day's. I.E., what I want to do for school ( basically my entire life ). I know for sure I want to help jenniy open her music extravaganza bar. But the things I love doing the most, are some of the hardest to be successful at. Example one, Boxing, I love it, the sport is my complete and utter passion. Two, Target shooting. I love shooting guns, mainly handguns. Just as well I love cleaning and working on guns ( very stand-offish from my usual un-redneckish personality ). Three, facebook. If I owned my own social networking site, and it was as big and as much of a hit as Facebook. I'd do things to better this world. The millions and millions of dollars that come from owning a super-site like this, could be used to do so much better for this whole planet. It's a money pit, and I'd love to do some spelunking in it.

I also, through alot of facebook time, keep in touch with and think alot about my brother's from my time in the navy. We all went through alot together, good and bad. I'll never forget those asshole's ever. I always think about them and remember stories for just about anything that involves beer, women, and good times in general. If i'm having a good time with someone back home, I usually recall alot of thoughts from my brothers ( and a couple of sisters ^_^ ) in the navy. I have thought about re-joining. But the process and time i'd have to spend in the active reserves just to go back active, would probably just piss me off. So, I plan on using the navy for one last thing. To further my education and start building on my life and goal's.

I still sit around thinking on what exactly I can do.. I know I want to make a big difference somewhere, somehow. Not only a big difference, but a difference for the better of mankind. This world has enough bad in it. I know, I have enough bad in me. But I, myself would feel great knowing I helped the human race with, even if it's not worldwide or globally known, anything even regional to where I end up calling home would be great. The ripple effect is a great thing. I guess what I think I want to do is be more than just, the average guy, doing the average job for the average pay and the average appreciation. Some don't mind just getting by, or just being average joe or jane. Myself, I don't see a reason for it. It's fine to get comfortable but one should always strive to better themselves. Not just for yourself, but for everyone else too.

Bettering yourself for the purpose of making things better for other's and helping other's try to better themselves should be everyone's focus. We should constantly be caring and compassionate for everyone's thoughts, belief's and goals. But we should not let them just give up and be fine with just the average. Every good human being deserves the chance to make the best for themselves. some may not be as smart as others or the information may not be as easy to absorb. But with help and repetition anyone can learn anything. Damn I sound like I want to be a teacher.. but no. I've had enough trouble growing up to try and teach kids how to do it too while they sit and laugh at me because kids love to pick on people. Simply put, I'd be fired on the first day. Kids are cool in small doses but when placed around one another for any extended period of time they become a wolf pack. Vicious and i'll-tempered for any reason. Let's just say i'm not a multiple kid person. I am starting to think something along the lines of some kind of therapist. Still not sure, but i'm leaning that way. I want to help people understand things about their own mind. I find the human brain a facinating tool, that is capable of such a wide range of skills. It really is unique.

I also as most know, am a strong agnostic on my religious views. No proof, no pudding. I'd like to see more people choose humbleness rather than hate and resent towards one anothers belief's. More so i'd rather "preach" the truth that knowing any deity exists is entirely impossible and that believing such a thing as pre-destiny is just as good as believing everything miss cleo says to you over the phone. Basically people life is an endless party not a fucking punch-card with stern rules and regulations. You choose what's best for you, not some book, not some invisible friend, nor the mind-numbing media that is mainstream television, telling you exactly what you think you want to hear, because of your up-bringing or regional culture or social style. Better yourself and strive to encourage others to better themselves constantly. Negative ( emo ) thinking is fucking saddening. America was a great country, it still can be if we choose to make it better. No amount of prayer ( or as i call it, hoping it were so ) or bitching is going to change a damn thing. Teaching ourselves and the next generation factual, rational, and moral thinking is the only choice we should consider. Think on it people.. I do everyday. I guess this is what I think, I think, for now, the future truly is unwritten isn't it Joe? This one's for you, but more so for everyone else.. because that's what you wanted brother. Would have been great to have met and known you Strummer man rest in peace, I know it's hard when the world is so turbulent right now. Know your rights people.

Perceptually yours,

Velez

P.S. - If anyone didn't get that last part. The late Joe Strummer was a great artist, musician, and humanitarian. I hope one day only to be able to do my part to make this place better, because through him and his music I have learned alot about myself and how everyone should live in Silver and Gold.. before we get too old and wither away.. celebrate life people. This post my first on my blog is dedicated to Joe. Again rest in peace man. You did your part in my eyes, i'll do mine now thanks to you. Just as well thanks to Jason ( he know's who he is ) without that dude, I probably never would have heard Joe's message. Go get the house on the hill with the white picket fence bro. You've earned it ( and still are earning it ). I've got a few more years of work to do. Last of the true.