What's on your mind?: The Facebook Delusion

The days of old. You know way back when it was 1986 or so? I know it's been forever ago and that technology has advanced beyond what we thought imaginable from that time. I should know I was like two years old. Who would have thought that I would be able to let everyone in my social circle know exactly what I was up to every minute of the day if i wanted to? Simply by reaching in my pocket and typing it out on a phone that fits into the palm of my hand. I could sit here and awe at everything that has changed since '86 but that just doesn't seem very fun. I'd much rather talk about how much of a pain in the ass Facebook has made society in general.

"HOW BOUT THEM *insert favorite college or professional football team here* " This is all I get for damn near half a year, that or constant updates on saturday, sunday, and monday nights about yardage, scores, penalties, and various other bullshit that floats around my "friends" status messages. Not only does it show the "true" fans of the sport, but it also shows the ones who damn near beat their wives because of how angry they get because their favorite football team lost or is currently loosing. I realized a few years back that the sport of football and the fanaticism that comes along with it is just too much for me. I have a short temper as it is and football, especially college football rivalries brought out the worst in me. So, being progressive minded and looking to improve myself and not continue down a path that could lead me to anger management classes, I stopped viewing and keeping tabs on football altogether. I consider myself a much better person for it too. Much better than your average person who would read this and say something along the lines of " that guy was just a pussy. " , well my fanatical reading friend, fuck you.

Amongst other things that grace the status updates are the constant complaints about someones drama, they won't say what exactly is bugging the fuck out of them in the manner that they have to constantly update about it, usually in all caps and with an explicative or two. Including but not always limited to "faggot ass cunt bitch". My personal thoughts on said "faggot ass cunt bitch" is that maybe you as a person should grow a pair. Then confront said "faggot ass cunt bitch", and cold cock them in the face while screaming something about murdering their family. I'm sure they will leave you alone for a while after that. Especially if you pick up a blunt heavy object after that and wave it around your head like a mad man or woman. Get a grip on your life and stop wasting internet space and time and my retinal lifespan complaining about something that you, yourself should take into your own hands. It's ok to grow up and face your problems head on sometimes.

"I have to put the kids down for a nap and go look in the fridge". Really? Do you? Are you sure? I don't know how many times I have seen this kind of status or something similar come up on my updates. It's like these people want to write down every event that happens to them during the day no matter what the fuck it is. It doesn't matter that it's the most trivial shit that doesn't challenge or increase my intelligence at all, it just is some random shit that they HAVE to update or else. Or else the fucking world will come crashing down on top of them and baby jesus in the manger will return. Goddamn.... these updates are the bane of my facebook existence, these and the " I'm praying that tonight goes well and i find a great parking spot at the church " ( but i'll get into the religious debacle next... i always do.. *chuckle*) It's like these people have absolutely nothing interesting or genuinely intelligent to say. They just go day to day updating how many times they went to the fridge for food or how many times they changed a baby diaper. It literally drives me into a deletion frenzy. I can't see why anyone would put up such stupid shit....

Picking up on where I left off on stupid shit. Is the ever present " i'm going to pray for *insert any and everything here* ". These people literally talk to God on facebook. Like he has an account and get's back to them from time to time when he's not busy watching people rape each other and commit genocide in burma and stuff like that, or allowing an islamic terrorist to kill 35 or so people in Moscow. But God is great and all and loves his children. Praying to god on facebook, or whatever you pray to, isn't going to make you look like a better person. Actually getting involved and helping people out might be a start. I just witnessed some one post up " Life, your kids, your marriage DID come with instructions - The bible ". This disturbs me because I thought those instructions on how to be a good person came from the parents and a natural sense of morality that is hardwired into us as a child. Not from some book written by a culture of almost primitive people in the middle east. I digress.. as this is a touchy subject. It will be a great day when mankind won't need a mythological guidebook to teach them to be good, moral people and instead just be the naturally good people that we already were as children.

When it all boils down to it, every one of the things I have written about here are deletable offenses. I have given get out of deletion free cards to family members and good friends because I know they can't help themselves and I talk to them about different things from time to time. But to the random person who I rarely see in town and don't really care to speak to. You have to go. I don't need you wasting my time and raising my blood pressure, which is already high thanks to my great genetics ( thanks dad ). Also, if I see you in passing in town oh drama queens and kings of facebook, don't expect me to look your way or talk to you for any period of time that requires me having to listen to your ramblings in person as well. I don't want it on my facebook persona nor my actual public persona as well. So. In closing, don't be a "faggot ass cunt bitch".